It’s taken me the better part of eighteen months to sit and write this. For various reasons, which I plan to cover in my articles to follow, both on being a full-time single parent and entrepreneur, and also the time it took me to heal and recover from a toxic relationship. And then running my business, dealing with all the day-to-day, ongoing projects, next projects, staffing, finance — it’s all-consuming. Hence bumping the writing further down the list of priorities.

Time. It is our greatest asset. Where my time goes is the key to my company: who I spend it on and why. Whether it be clients, staff, social media — that one sucks a lot of time — nurturing important, valuable relationships that feed me and my business. Then time into myself, my children and my friendships. 

Juggling, maintaining and sustaining this balance of time is not easy. I am sure you, like me, experience the constant change in your day, the shift of prioritizing and reprioritizing. My day can be meticulously planned with a huge to-do list, armed and ready to tackle it all, yet one call from a client and everything goes on the back burner and now my time is allocated differently. It is part and parcel of being an entrepreneur and juggling two hundred plates at once, but how can we better slow down this time that right now feels like it is speeding up at an astonishing pace?

As half a year whizzed by in the blink of an eye, I have learned a few things to give me more time. One: I have learned about boundaries. Having healthy boundaries is essential. To preserve and protect your space and your time. Two: who you spend that time with matters. It really matters. And allocating time for yourself is quite possibly the most important lesson. 

I’m in the business of time, and time is a luxury. My business is all about providing time to my clientele to save them time by providing services that do just that, along with my expertise and experience to get the job done well.

So where and whom with my time goes matters more than ever. Between my demanding role as CEO of my own company and working full-time as a single mother of my boys — who are with me around the clock — the who, what and where of my time not only matters and makes a big difference, but it now provides calm, peace and order in my insanely busy world.

I have plucked out people who no longer serve me — toxic people who drain or suppress my energy are also out. Most of these were relationships that I had long outgrown, and so I am no longer wasting my time with places and people that are not worth it.

With that clear out, I’ve given myself the best gift of all: space and time for me. Time to sit and write. Time to nourish and rest my mind, body and soul. It has helped me to manage and function more effectively and also helps me be a better woman, a better boss, a better mother and a better friend.

I aim to work with greater clients and allot my time to work and my children without feeling saturated and spread too thin; before, I would often put myself last. But now I’ve completely 360-shifted to putting myself first. This act is not selfish, but naturally selfless in order to fulfill all my needs and better put my time into others. What this has done has opened up space; I feel calmer, I am no longer anxious. I have clarity, I work better, I live better and can grow myself and those around me better for it, too.

The Rolling Stone Culture Council is an invitation-only community for Influencers, Innovators and Creatives. Do I qualify?

Be proactive in slowing down our busy lives, and enjoying this precious life we have, otherwise, we are living to work, not working to live. It’s not easy; I have had to undo habits I have accumulated from 13 years of owning my own business.

For example, I won’t stop with my early morning starts, as it truly is when I get all my best work tackled in the quiet calm of the early hours before everyone rises; but this time allocation is fruitful and works for me. Finding what works for you is key, but learning to say no and be conscious about where and to whom your time goes can help you be a better everything. Put the oxygen mask on yourself first. 

So let’s review the steps you can take to do something similar and give yourself time back:

1. Establish boundaries. 

2. Clear out relationships you’ve outgrown or that have become toxic.

3. Slow down and prioritize your own needs in order to more successfully serve others — be they your clients, your family or your friends.

Time is about sacrifice and also discipline for peace. When we’re in the present, time feels like it’s slowed as we create memories — and that is so important to self-care and being able to put our best selves out there for those we care about.

I have to start over most days as I get sucked into a whole lot and then finish in the evening when I have done nothing for myself and I am exhausted. Mentally, physically and emotionally drained, so tomorrow I vow to do better and allocate my time to myself more. It’s ongoing, it’s a work in progress, but ultimately, if you want to do something, you do it, and if not, you make excuses. Let’s change that when it comes to time for ourselves to reap the benefits and make every day count.